Kotoo and Darlu....

• love each other and kotoo loves darlu even more coz darlu loves his parents immensely

 

• sit in last row in office cab and some times darlu kisses kotoo's hand and kotoo holds darlu's hand very very tight

 

• meet in stadium near darlu's  home on morning during weekends and go to lift some times and kiss

 

• meet in kotoo's small room and if Friday then darlu sleeps in kotoo's arms whole night

• kotoo is consoled by darlu when ever kotoo is high on cynicism

 

• darlu sings for kotoo and asks kotoo to sing to

 

• kiss each others eyes before sleeping and on lips also

 

• touch each others hand when in public and kiss own hands as if kissed each other 

 

• kotoo asks darlu to drink water and wear glasses 

 

• darlu asks kotoo to have good dinner and always asks whether kotoo finished food or not

 

• want to go on cycle trip to one scenic place

 

• will not be together in cab any more, kotoo is moving to another office :-( darlu is also moving house and kotoo would change room to stay near darlu :-)

• are forever for each other :-*/0

Darling asked if I trust his love....

It was Tuesday 17th May 2011 noon when I told darling that I would go to my room early from office. I was feeling bit low and darling said that he also wanted to come with me. I said him to come with me but not to my room as I had fight with my roomy in the morning. I had had neither breakfast not lunch on Tuesday though I did not tell it to love until post lunch when we decided to leave office together. I told Darling that I have not had any thing since morning and darling asked me to eat, well almost forced me in to eating :-). Darling told me that he wanted to feed me with his hands.....

It was part cloudy and I asked darling to go back home but darling wanted to be with me. Darling asked me to come to Mdhavan park with me. I had never been inside that park. We walked in. This parked in centered with a lake, and darling and I were walking along side. Later we sat on bench and darling asked me if I trust his love and I said - I do but I am cynical also. I told darling that the kind of conversations happen when I am with darling and others are around bogs me down and not only this, even in general I feel that people try to suppress me. I think of keeping low profile so others would be more cautious while talking to me and probably would not ask me about marriage. And darling said learn to differentiate what is important and what you need to worry about. These things would keep coming and you need to distance and know what to pay attention to. Well, I might not have written exact words but darling wants me to take only those things seriously which are supposed to be seriously. Darling always tell me that he trusts me our love and this is what gives him strength....

Back to office Thursday morning, I get to know that out group is moving to a different building and I would not be darling either in cab or in office. Though we don't work together we at least  get to see each other and be with when ever we want to. But this distance is going to increase now. Darling asked me that he wanted to come to my room on Thursday eve and then darling was all in my arms Thursday eve. Darling had slept at 1:30am previous night and asked love to sleep, at least take a nap. Darling was initially resisting but eventually slept in my arms... I kept looking at love though dozed off after a while....

Sunday afternoon, I was again with love today, Darling had to see some furniture for his new house and asked me to come along. I could not go for jogging with love in morning as it was raining and I was badly waiting to see darling. We roamed almost entire after noon, had snacks and ice cream, darling and I kissed once in lift.............

Love I am missing you, kotooo is missing you love........

Darling and I are for forever

Darling asked me to come home on Wednesday as his parents were to go out on that eve. And I was with darling on Wednesday eve. We went to office together on Thursday. The same morning darling was not well and I ask him to be at home and I would go to office on Friday. Darling slept early on Thursday eve and we got up together on Friday morning.

Darling told me that he is been losing courage and asked me to move on and get a life partner. I had some tears in eyes and kept telling darling that what ever the circumstances I can not stop loving him. Darling was happy that I took it well and after some time I got ready and moved to office.

And this was when my heart started pouncing. While in cab I had all moment spent with love running in front of my eyes. I was as if I would cry in cab. Reached office and kept distance from others. When I moved for lunch I saw love in cafeteria, not one not two but many. All of them calling me - "kotoooooooooo kotooooooooo". Darling has begun calling me "kotoooooooo" (cute) of late. I was trying hard to contain my tears. I was desperately waiting for eve so I could meet darling and tell him my state of mind. I wanted to tell darling that I can not live with out him.... and then was the eve, back in office cab to reach love's place.

 Here I was ringing door bell, and darling came. Darling had kept mango and apple for me and I moved up stairs and darling followed me. Darling asked me to eat and I ran in to tears, very very loud. I told love that I can not live with out him. I can not love twice. I am not stone to forget my love and get married and if even so I would be spoiling some one else life too. I held my hands begged to love to not leave me. Though suddenly asked darling to shun me completely. All this while darling kept asking me kool down, darling had heavy face and there were tears in hon's eyes. Darling held me inside his tshirt and I kept crying. Darling told me that he can not leave me in this situation and I told honey to not leave me ever, ever.... Darling said that once I was gone he felt that abyss was coming back to him. He kept smelling my clothes to feel me. Darling said I am best he can get in life. I told honey that I don't want more I just want to be able to see him once in a year and that is my heaven.

Darling told that we would make it, we would go to US. We would do what ever it takes. Darling asked me to get my parents here soon so that they know that I am here for them. Darling always asks me to bring my parent here. Darling kept asking me kool down and gave me water to drink. I was pacified and was in love's arms. Darling was very happy and said - "kotooooo thanks for coming back to my life". Darling said we would have professional and personal goals in life. And both of us are going to work for it....

I love you darling. You are my life darling.....

Courage courage and courage

Darling always asks me to have courage and today was one such day, darling said

Have courage, we will fight for it. We will make it work. We will give our 100% to it. Our parents would accept us, if not today than tomorrow may be after 10 years, after 15 years, have courage I cannot not live with out you. What is my life if you cant not tell me how you feel. I want to be with you, give me one year....

Darling, this life is for you and what is there in one year. I am you darling and you are me my love. I am deeply, madly, insanely in love with you life....

Darling sent me offline and very right time

Darling says -

A story tells that two friends
were walking
through the desert
During some point of the
Journey they had an
Argument, and one friend
Slapped the other one
In the face.
The one who got slapped
was hurt, but without
saying anything,
wrote in the sand:
TODAY  MY BEST FRIEND
SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE .
They kept on walking
until they found an oasis,
where they decided
to take a bath.
The one who had been
slapped got stuck in the
mire and started drowning,
but the friend saved him.
After he recovered from
the near drowning,
he wrote on a stone:
TODAY MY BEST FRIEND
SAVED MY LIFE.

The friend who had slapped
and saved his best friend
asked him, “After I hurt you,
you wrote in the sand and now,
you write on a stone, why?”
The other friend replied
“When someone hurts us
we should write it down
in sand where winds of
forgiveness can erase it away..
But, when someone does
something good for us,
we must engrave it in stone
where no wind
can ever erase it.”

Life, what  all good you have done to me is deeply carved on my stone heart darling. No one can ever erase it love :-*

And Jaya was born

Jaya is most fictional and most important character of my life. Jaya had to take birth so that I could avert my marriage as long as possible. And why was Jaya born.

Darling used to tell me that I should get some one to connect with. Darling used to be a close friend those days and not "darling". Darling asked me to think about marriage and get a life partner, and I followed every single word of darling. One day mum called and asked me for marriage plans, and I replied mum to tell me once she has some good family for me. 

But soon things changed and darling was not just a friend. Darling became my life partner and I turned most happy person on earth. I was and I am ready to take any thing to be with my love. Soon mum called and asked about some who came to her knowledge for my marriage. "Marriage", I don't want to marry any one now. I have got my life partner for eternity. So I fabricated about Jaya. I told mum that I am madly in love with her and will do some thing if I could not be with her. Mum had mixed emotions, she was crying and happy at the same time, and I was trying to console her. After this I spoke to mum at least 1 hr every day. Letting her know that I am always there what ever happens. This was the time when I all alone, my love was in Chennai for a personal trip and I had no one to share my feelings with. This is when 14th Feb happen, first real 14th Feb of my life and I spoilt it.

This was the time when I had to bear abuse from almost all, barring dad and sis. Bro told me that I have broken his faith. Though I wonder which faith he talks of. He used to scold me in child hood that I am not going to stay with family, well it turned out to be true. I was a kid then back then and had no one to wipe my tears.
Dad has not spoken on this topic to me till date and I don't think he would ever. I am happy that he talks to me on other topics at least. I only know that I would support my parents till last breath....

So what's with Jaya. I have told mum that Jaya is going to US for study and would take at least 2 years for her to complete studies. So I could push my marriage for at least 2 more years. Well I am lying but I don't know what I should do to avoid my marriage. I want to be with my darling and I don't know any other truth....